Saturday, January 26, 2013

Blur.

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Oh. Mai. God. I am like the blurest person ever... LOL I'm like jumping up and down right now, and rolling on my bed. How could I be so blur? The signs were so clear. Ah. Gosh. :O *facepalm*

Just. Being. Random. :D Ignore me. I'm being hyper. And crazy. Woots woots!



Your mum reads my blog.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Seductive?

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It's always funny when people say I'm a seductress. Because I never, ever intend to be anything close to that! Seducing people is so not my kind of thing to do. Flirtatious, maybe. Seductive, not really XD Attractive, definitely. LOL. Okay. This is getting over my head. I should calm down :P

A short post for today. Tired for no reason. It's been raining since yesterday. And the weather is just beckoning me to sleep. Zzzzz.... Gonna go take a nap (or maybe I'll sleep through the night til tomorrow). Have a happy weekend, everyone! :)



Your mum reads my blog.
The first face.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Bartender, ahoy!

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I was a bartender yesterday! Lol. It was a great and fun experience for me. I was supposed to be the manager for our restaurant, but because last term I've been the manager 3 times already I decided to not be the manager this term, because I've experienced it before (even though I do have to admit there're lots of differences in between managing in a mock-up restaurant and managing in a real working restaurant).

Anyways, the picture above was the mocktail of the day that I did. It's called ice-blended sunrise. It's actually a virgin sunrise lol. We can't serve no booze, yo! Was hoping to make something like AMF or Sex on the Beach but of course, no booze almost definitely cuts AMF off the chart, and SotB is just a bit too kinky for college ;) Anyways, improvise, improvise, improvise and poof! Ice-blended Sunrise it is :) The leftest one is the non ice-blended version, which Jer and Jo loves very much. 

Bartending is actually a lot of hard work! Not only do I have to serve mocktails, I had to pour out juices, refill the water pitchers, and make coffee and/or hot chocolate and tea! Cafe Latte, Cappuccino, I suck at making them :P I mean, the coffee isn't that hard to make. It's the milk. Urgh. But it's fun. I get to see the servers (who is my fellow groupmates) working and the way they interact with the guests, and how the guests are interacting with each other.

I cut myself too! In the midst of scolding one of my mates on his relationship problems while cutting slices of lemon for garnish, I poked the knife into my middle finger. No biggies! Though I did stare at it for 5 seconds, stoned, before pulling the knife out. LOL. Good thing I put my lemons in the garnish rack before that or I would've had to redo all of it :/ Oh well. Lesson learned : concentrate on what you're doing XD
Yesterday was damn tiring for us. To think that after the managing/bartending/serving all of us had classes to go! Jeez. We were all damned when we stepped into the class, and I think all of us yawned countless of times. I guess I'm gonna have to get used to this.



Your mum reads my blog.
Young girls.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Just be.

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You know what? Who cares if you're fat, if you're ugly, if you're short, if you're tanned, if you're skinny, if you're beautiful, if you're tall, or if you're fair? If you just be who you are and embrace yourself, then you could definitely say "Fuck this shit. Fuck this world. Fuck everyone else. I'm going to live my life the way I want to."

Anyways, a short post for today. I've a whole day of classes (from 8.30 - 5.30 with only an hour's break in between... jeez). Have a nice day, everyone! And remember, just be yourself :)




Your mum reads my blog.
My remedy.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Contented?

I've always convinced myself that I'm okay with being alone, that I'm content with loneliness, that there's no need for me to have someone to be here for me, to be here with me. I've always told myself (and others) that I don't mind being lonely. That I don't mind being alone. That I love this solitude. That desolation is nothing worse than crowds.

But then there are days like today. Days when I walk home alone and I stop in my tracks, and wonder what I'm doing. Why am I not eating lunch with my friends? Why am I walking home alone? Why am I not allowing myself the joy of being surrounded by others? Why am I doing this to myself? I stopped, and almost walked back to campus. But I chose not to, and came home, and wrote this straight away.

In a way, while writing all these, I realized why. Because being alone means not allowing your heart to be vulnerable enough to be hurt by someone else. Because being alone means not having to have to share your deep, dark secret with anyone. Because being alone means enjoying your own world, digging into your thoughts.

Ah. I guess those are just a reasoning as to why I'm such a loner. Oh well. In a way, I love hanging out with people. I love listening to people. I love talking to people. But then, in another way, I have been so lonely for so long it's hard for me to not want to constantly embrace the loneliness. I guess today's one of those days where I want to have me all for myself :P

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Random happy picture because this post is, in a way, depressing. Lol.





Your mum reads my blog.
It's ending.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Freedom

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There's always a price to pay for freedom. Sometimes loneliness comes with freedom, sometimes sadness; sometimes betrayal. When I talk about freedom, in one way, it is about being free and being able to do whatever it is that you would want to do without having anyone to restrict you. But in another way, I'm talking about being emotionally free. About being able to let your soul fly, to express your emotions without having to constrain yourself.

There are a lot of things people would do just to get freedom. They can betray, they can love, they can kill, they can hurt. But I personally think it's a personal battle. As much as you'd fight the world to get freedom, in a way, you'd have to fight yourself. You'd have to go against yourself in order to know what it is to be emotionally detached, to know what it is like to defy yourself. Then, you'd fully understand the kind of emotional freedom that you're looking for.

But then, one thing, don't take for granted the things you have now. You may not know it, but when you lose it in exchange for 'freedom', there's a possibility you're gonna regret it, and that you'd end up a tortured soul. I believe there are times when you'd have to ask yourself if freedom is worth losing things for. And if you even have a slight doubt that it's not worth it, then believe me, it's not worth it.

I feel like I'm going round and round with my words right now. LOL. Sorry. I'm a tad bored, and my room is a mess I don't even wanna look at it right now :P So I'm facing the computer screen! Yay! :D



Your mum reads my blog.
Undeserving.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Bye, Penang!

I'm leaving Penang! In less than 6 hours time! Oh wow. Time flies really, really fast, huh? I didn't even get to hang out with my school mates (mostly because when I came back it was near to the start of school week already so... Plus, I was lazy :P) But one thing I did get to do was to spend time with mm! Hanging out with her til late at night, drinking coffee and just talking (sometimes even debating) about silly stuffs. That was nice.

Anyways, back to my old life, I guess. Uni's starting next week, so I'm gonna be busy with classes, etc. But I'll try my best to update my blog! I have lots and lots (and lots) of things to review on... Meh me for being a procrastinator :P I can't wait to start uni life though. I'm getting fatter and fatter from all the insanely awesome food that they have here in Penang. Just ate like curry noodles and cendol and dim sums yesterday... Damn I'm fat.

Have a nice weekend, everyone! And if I'm not busy cleaning up my room in KL, I guess I'll update my blog (?) No promises though! xoxo. :D





Your mum reads my blog.
Learn.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Take the leap!

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One thing I learnt from the year 2012 is to never be afraid to take chances. You'll never know how your life would turn out when you open your heart a little bit, when you look at the bright side, when you be brave and take the leap.

I volunteered, I went to university, I met new people, I helped people, I listened, I spoke, I organized events, I made lots and lots of friends, I lived, I loved. Of course, there are times when it'd seem better for me if I just did nothing and stayed in my room and rot in there. But I chose not to. I chose to do things that I know I wouldn't have the chance to if I missed out on it. I chose to make friends that would mean me risking myself being betrayed, but I didn't mind, because along the way, after eliminating all those people who betrayed me, I found a few true ones.

I know of people who stays under their shell. Who is afraid to do something. Who'd rather stay safe and do nothing. I don't condemn these people. But I wish everyone would take a chance. Getting hurt is life. Don't be afraid of it. So you got hurt once, twice, trust me, the next time, you won't get hurt. In fact, you'd be very happy with the outcome.

Live life, people! :)



Your mum reads my blog.
Just one last time.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Bright eyes.

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People have always told me that they could see life in my eyes. That my eyes just seem to glisten with brightness all the time. Even when I'm sad. It's funny, really. I never notice it. But people around me do. Even people whom I rarely ever know who've only ever seen my pictures. They say that my eyes light up even in pictures, and they could see how passionate I am about my life through the pictures of myself that I posted in my blog.

I used to wonder what the light is. And why not everyone have them. It's weird, in a way. I'm living life no different than my peers, my juniors, my seniors are, and yet, they perceive me as living my life so differently. What makes me so different, I asked. And all they could give me is just a shrug. "The way you smile." "The way you listen." "The way you look up the sky." "The way you dance around like a crazy kid."

I still don't know what that glimmer in my eyes is. And I still wonder why there are people who have eyes so dead it seems like they're living a very, very dreary life. I look into these people's eyes, and it feels like they've given up hope. That they no longer have anything to live for. Sometimes I wish I could give them a very big hug and tell them to live their life. To go and do the things that they want to do. To dance in the rain. To laugh at themselves when they did something wrong.

I hope each and every one of you who are reading this will find the light in your eyes. And to those of you who have already found it, to never ever lose it.



Your mum reads my blog.
Come back to you.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Missing?

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Hey everyone! Oh wow. It's been a while. A long, long while. It's a bit ironic how when I was busy with classes and assignments, etc I still try to write a post every now and then but when I'm in my term break I got lazy and didn't write a single post, and now that I only have a week left in my break I'm writing a post. My mind works in a very peculiar way sometimes.

In a way, I needed this break from blogging. There was this one time when I felt like my blog was saying too much (and too little) about me. It felt like people were judging me based on the posts that I wrote. That I'm portraying myself based on the thoughts that I decided to write down and publish for everyone to see. But then, I realized something. This is me. A part of me, anyways. You can't necessarily see who I am through the words that I pen (or type) down, but you can sure guess the type of person that I am.

And now, here I am. I'm back. Typing down the things that's going through my head right now. I'm sorry for the absence. I'm not missing. I'm just living life. And being the lazy me :P The number of my readers have plummeted down, but I guess I'm the only one to blame here. Oh well. It's time to revive this dead blog! :)

A belated happy new year to everyone.


Your mum reads my blog.
Feel the light in you.