Thursday, March 5, 2015

Guardian angels.

*I wrote this last year, and because I didn't really understood what was said to me, I didn't manage to end it then. Now that I've gotten an insight to what he was saying, I decided to finish it now.*

...

{There are people who appear in your life for a split moment, disappearing soon after, making (or not making) an impact in your life. And then there are people who will always be there, like the silent guardian angels that they are. Watching over you, making sure you never fall, cleaning up your bruises if you ever do.

D's one of them. He promised me the comfort of knowing that he'll always be there. That he'll come if I wanted him to, he'll run to me when I need him to. He'll always be here for me. If I ask him to be. If I ever change my mind about the decision I made to not follow him overseas, he'll come back, take my hand, and together, we'll run away, start over.

Two months ago, he asked me to go with him. To run away, to leave this place, to start anew. To take his hand, allow him to me, allow myself to love him. I declined his offer. Not because I didn't want to. Trust me, I was tempted to leave this place and go on an adventure, meet new people, see new places, experience new things. But my heart didn't belong to him. How can I drop everything I have for someone who I love so dearly, but not am in love with? Deep down, I knew that my heart belonged to someone else, and no matter where I run to, nothing will help.

I asked him to not leave. There's so many opportunities here for him, so much to see still.

"If it was (him) who asked you to go, you would've went with no hesitation, wouldn't you?" I didn't even have to reply to that. Because he knew. He knew who had my heart. He knew who he lost to. That dark soul who managed to engulf mine and let me mask myself with feigned laughter, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and countless tears.

"It's unfortunate for you and me he's so lucky."}



Your mum reads my blog.
Come to me.

1 comment:

Launna said...

Lynnie... this was so perfectly said.. when you are willing to uproot and go wherever the other person wants to go... that is who has your heart. Until I reconnected with my 'D' there was no one that I would do that for... and even though he and I no longer talk, I would always be there for him... even though he doesn't deserve that...

This is sad...